The Nightmare of Supermarkets

Isn't it the case that whenever you enter a Supermarket/Store of any sort, the queue suddenly expands in size? Walk in, queue is five strong. Take five minutes to get eggs, bacon and bread and the queue is now full of twenty angry people trying to get served because OH WHAT A SURPRISE there's only two people on the bloody cashier. Now at this point you're sweating because you know there's a deal on the bacon. Two for £5, and you're scared that when you get to the end of the queue the deal won't work and you're f---ed. What do you do at this point? You can take tact number a) "What was the price on that bacon mate? I thought there was a deal on." and risk angering the twenty grumbling people who are now behind you for halving the number of working staff because you have to show said cashier said deal on said bacon? Or you can take tact b) and ignore it, and be a mug and pay £3 per pack. I mean, you're only saving a quid right? It's not the end of the road. You'll get home, whack the bacon on the George Foreman and it will be worth the extra-quid. Or is it? Do you get home and the bacon sticks to the pan like a child does to its mother?

Last week advertised Flora was £1.52 on the shelf. Fine, £1.52's a good price for Flora. I took it to the cashier (queue was MASSIVE) and he scanned it through as £3.80.
TACT A FLEW ACROSS MY HEAD

"Woah, hold up there mate" I exclaimed, "Says £1.52 on the shelf" - I lead the guy to the shelf and he tells me the that the price of £1.52 is for NORMAL Flora, not PROACTIVE Flora like I've got.

"Pray find me some NORMAL Flora I yell in his face" - and he can't find any. So what he does is let me off with the price and scans it through as £1.52 - what a gent I tell him.

Do you have a clubcard, it helps you spend less.

"No I really REALLY don't have a clubcard, how does it make me spend less?" Would me having a clubcard changed the fact that you tried to charge me the best part of a fiver for a tub of bloody butter?"; What is it anyway? A card that proclaims you part of the Tesco Elite? And stop asking me whether I have one or not, I come in here every day and NEVER EVER have one, why would it change?

Oh yeah, actually, I woke up one night having a nightmare that I was buying a pack of Doritos and I didn't have a clubcard and it rendered me useless and I suddenly felt I was Daniel Radcliffe standing naked infront of an audience and that my semi hadn't worked and there I was, immature, with hordes of people including my girlfriend and my mother laughing at me.

No that never happened, and no I don't have a f---ing clubcard.