Crocodile Eats 5 Year Old Boy

So a five year old boy has just been taken and eaten by a crocodile in Queensland, Australia mate. It was apparently resident in a swamp behind the family house. Which leads me to beg the question, 'WHY WOULD YOU LIVE IN FRONT OF A CROCODILE INFESTED SWAMP?"Australia's a big place, they'd be pretty spoilt for choice where to live, I'm sure living on the top of Ayers Rock would be pretty safe, only if you don't suffer from Vertigo, mate.

I know "Beatiful four bedroom chalet in Queensland, with two bathrooms and a swimming pool with beautiful scenery and a CROCODILE INFESTED SWAMP - BY THE WAY YOU MIGHT DIE MATE" probably didn't feature in the Estate Agent's but come on, do your bloody research mate!

Why is the media saying 'feared dead', 'probably dead' - of course the kid's dead. The crocodile didn't take him for a cup of Earl Grey and a chicken sandwich. Mate.

Is a house with a crocodile infested swamp a suitable habitat for a family with young children? No. So why bloody move there mate?

"Oh no, my son got eaten by a fifteen foot alligator mate" - YEAH, because you're an absolute moron who thought it would be a good idea to live by a swamp, mate, deal with it. I don't live by a swamp, and my family members don't get eaten by crocodiles. SIMPLE MATE.

Oi 'Arry, why did ya say it?

So, it's official. Prince Harry is not just a bit of a racist. But he's an absolute idiot too. Did he not think that someone would eventually call him out on using the word Paki as a throwaway term, or has the frontline damaged his frontal lobe so much he can't discern from what is sensible and what isn't. Doesn't he realise that if he does stupid things PEOPLE WILL FIND OUT. It's not like he's Michael Phelps...

There was a kid at my school years ago who had the surname 'Paxman', we instinctively transformed this harmless English surname into the rather naive abbreviation of 'Paki'. This was waaaay before Labour and before anyone really thought that using racist terms to call their mates was a bad thing. You should have seen the look on other school's faces when we called for the ball in football in away games. Priceless.

Was that down to us being stupid? Yes. But it was due entirely to youthful innocence and the lack of being able to make the distinction between right and wrong. We knew it wasn't the best word to call him, but when we were in the playground we totally forgot about the connotations behind the word and that was how we justified it then and it's why I'm justifying it now.

Is this Harry being stupid? Yes again. Is it down to youthful innocence? Of course not. The 'man' should know better. Even if the man in question was totally fine with the fact that his friends and fellow allies referred to him as 'a Paki' then Harry should have realised that calling him a Paki in private, let alone on a bloody video camera was a BAD IDEA. Or did he not get taught the rights and wrongs of social discourse? Maybe they missed it out at Prince school. I certainly never got taught what was right and wrong, I was intelligent enough to work it out for myself. But the question here is: Is Harry?